If you’ve ever been curious about tying someone up or being tied up during sex, you’re definitely not alone. A 2017 study found that more and more people are getting into bondage, and with good reason. At Todd Couples Superstore, we know the thrill of wielding or yielding power can be extremely arousing!
So, what is sexual bondage?
Sexual bondage is the practice of restricting someone’s movement or senses during consensual sexual activities.
Bondage accounts for the “B” in BDSM, an acronym for three separate but related erotic practices: bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism.
Does all of that sound super extreme and scary? Don’t worry! Not all bondage is elaborate restraints and shibari ropes. In fact, if you’re new to bondage, it’s best to start small and familiarize yourself with the basics.
Consent and Negotiation
It’s important to clarify that bondage, or any other form of erotic power play, is not the same as abuse.
In fact, practicing BDSM is associated with much lower instance of rape-supportive beliefs.
The key difference is explicit consent and communication. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! Be clear about what you are and are not willing to do, what you’re curious about or what you’re excited to try.
Maybe you’re interested in handcuffs, but not in being fully immobilized. Or maybe you’re interested in simulated struggle, in which case you’ll want to use a safe word.
Care and communication are key to achieving a deep, pleasurable connection. The submissive should always communicate what they want, when they’ve had enough or when they’re uncomfortable, and the dominant should always be attuned to the submissive’s needs and limits.
As our Sexperts at the Todd will always emphasize, when participating willingly and safely, no one is a victim or perpetrator.
Bondage is about power and surrender
That’s right, sex isn’t even necessary for successful and fulfilling bondage play (though it is often incorporated into the practice).
Bondage comes down to vulnerability. The submissive in the relationship is consciously choosing to give up an agreed amount of power over to the dominant, and the dominant in turn controls, cares for, and services the submissive.
This requires an inherent amount of trust, which can loosen sexual inhibitions, fantasies, and helps build deeper connections.
For the submissive, allowing their senses and their mobility to be restricted also heightens all other senses, supercharging sexual tension.
Bondage Toys, Tools, and Techniques
Bondage doesn’t have to be extreme to be fun or effective. A blindfold or tying someone’s wrists are simple ways to shake up the power dynamics. 
Ball gags are a classic choice to limit the submissive’s ability to speak (and we have a great selection available at the Todds in Tampa and Port Richey!)
When trying out different bondage positions, the dominant should always consider what will be most pleasurable for the submissive, but also what is safe and comfortable. If they have bad knees, for example, you don’t want them putting pressure on that joint for extended periods of time.
For beginners, start with the submissive on their back or on their side in such a way that they’re supported and easily accessible. A chair is a great next step, with the submissive either sitting, straddling, or bent over.
As you get more and more into power play, come check out our selection of bondage kits or ropes at Todd Couples Superstore. The most elaborate of bondage rope techniques, Japanese Shibari, elevate the practice to a true artform!
Preparation and Safety
Regardless of how wild your simulated scenarios get, no one should ever be in real danger.
Lay out any toys or props ahead of time so the dominant never has to leave a vulnerable submissive alone. Have a drink of water with a straw handy.
If a submissive is being restrained with ropes or scarves, make sure the knots aren’t cutting off blood circulation and are loose enough to be easily untied in case of any emergency.
Remember, it is the dominant’s job to care for the submissive, so safety first!
Stop by one of our Todd Couples Superstore locations and talk to our knowledgeable staff about what products are right for you.
