Bondage sex can be safe and exotic to enhance intimacy and stimulation. In this article, our Todd Couples Superstore Sexperts describe what it is and how to explore safely.
Bondage sex refers to a form of sex play that involves consensually tying or restraining a partner in a sex position to give or receive sexual pleasure.
Restraints can be simple household scarves or ties, or dedicated bondage cuffs and ropes. Our knowledgeable staff at the Todds in Tampa and New Port Richey can walk you through all our different products and how to get the most out of your bondage experience.
Definition
Bondage sex is a form of consensual and recreational sex play that involves tying, restraining, or binding a person in sex positions to give or receive sexual pleasure in restricted movements. Beyond the restraint, bondage sex also involves a consensual power dynamic between a dominant and submissive partner. It falls under the umbrella of power play, where one partner takes on a more dominant role during sex while the other assumes a submissive role. It is better to characterize bondage sex as an open dialogue to negotiate behaviors and achieve mutual enjoyment from physical and psychological stimulation.
1 in 5 Americans have engaged in bondage play, yet it still is viewed by outsiders as someone who is weird and unwell mentally. Some psychologists view this as a great way for couples to work on their communication skills and work together to accomplish something. Also shutting off one of our senses overstimulates the others to heighten arousal.
Why do people enjoy it?
Some partners enjoy this because it allows some to assert dominance by giving them total control and power over the situation. This can be a change of roles on a day to day basis in life where the alpha of the partnership becomes the submissive one and allows their partner to take full control of their pleasures. Gives the typical submissive one a chance to be in complete control. The exchanging of power can be extremely sexually arousing.
Additionally, studies suggest the physical restraints create a form of discipline within the brain. The brain’s pain and reward systems can be influenced. The brain is stimulated by pain and pleasure within the same part of the brain. Engaging in this with physical restraints helps make the submissive ones focus on pleasure heightening stimulation.
Potential benefits
Some possible benefits may include: Shutting of a sense and the ability to touch leads the mind into an altered state of consciousness in a subspace using other senses creating a floaty feeling that submissive receivers experience during play.
Bondage sex can encourage couples to explore their desires and fantasies [link to blog: Role Playing 101]. Bondage sex hinges on trust and security. This sense of vulnerability that comes with giving up control may help develop trust and closeness among partners. Practicing bondage may also improve communication skills, including negotiation and assertiveness.
Possible risks
Consent is critical. Partners need to fully negotiate and agree to what is allowed and what is off limits. Boundaries and trust are the most critical thing when engaging in bondage. Do not engage in this with someone you don’t know or have a clear understanding with. Agree to a safeword that is used by either partner that immediately signals all roles and activities need to stop.
People who engage in these activities have reported injuries with hematomas being the most common injury, due to restraints being too tight or staying in a position too long. Injuries and even fatalities can occur when drugs, alcohol are used. This act being so communicative and being aware it is always suggested to perform while being completely sober. Fatalities are more common when strangulation is involved and when the dominant partner fails to communicate or be aware of the submissive partner not responding anymore.
How to perform
Have enough preparation, education, boundaries and common sense.
There are actual classes, videos and books that partners look into before attempting any complete bondage. Set your rules, boundaries and safeword. Negotiate what you’re wanting out of this act but always listen to what your partner is searching for as well. Take it easy and slow at first. Make both of you comfortable and each time you engage in this act expand your experience.
If you’re using restraints, never use it with a stranger. Familiarize yourself with the restraints before using them and always have a cutting device that is quickly within reach to immediately be able to release your partner if an uncomfortable situation occurs. Add toys and props as you expand your experience but remember to take it slow and always communicate.
Pillow Talk
Afterwards always take the time to hold your partner talk about the experience and check their physical and emotional well being as it can be a very taxing act for some. Ask them what they did and didn’t like, what they would want to add or not try again. Build the awareness and trust to continue to please each party.
At the Todd, we know bondage can be intimidating to beginners. But don’t worry! Stop by Todd Couples Superstore in Tampa or New Port Richey and have a comfortable conversation with our staff about what you’re looking for. We’re sure to have the right product for your beginner bondage journey!
